WHY ARE GIRLS ALOUD MAKING A VIDEO FOR "BEAUTIFUL 'CAUSE YOU LOVE ME"?

 

*Actual, legit, 100% real picture form the actual, legit, 100% real video shoot for "Beautiful 'Cause You Love Me"; why is this happening instead of "On The Metro"? Because God hates us*

I don't hate "BCYLM" but it's no "On The Metro" nor is it "Every Now and Then". Whoever is making this decision over at Xenomania needs to stop. We all know you're jelly that you didn't produce "On The Metro" and that it's a fan fave but don't sabotage the girls' comeback with this not-so-great song. 

"BCYLM" is a great FILLER song not a single song. The hook isn't strong, the beat isn't catchy and over all Nicola doesn't sing enough lines. Yeah, I know she sings the chorus but then some other ho sings the second verse along with her so therefore it's no longer a solo part.

Ugh, cancel this shoot and make "On The Metro" MV happen asap or gtfo.

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KE$HA'S NEW ALBUM "WARRIOR" HAS THE MOST ATROCIOUS AND SLOW LEAK IN THE HISTORY OF SLOW AND ATROCIOUS ALBUM LEAKS

 

The new Illuminati Kueen's album "Warrior" started leaking 905859837575483 days ago, with a song leaking and then another one and then another one and then the full album in a horrible, unbearable sound quality leaked only to make us hate humanity and everyone that's ever stepped foot on this earth. Then some hoes decided to be complete douchebags and recode the shitty LQ and call it HQ and raise our hopes until someone got a hold of an OK / listenable quality yesterday. Seriously, it took forever and a day for this fucking album to leak. Was it worth the wait and the 139458583 zip files now on your computer? Well, yeah, duh K$ slays.

If I had to, I'd relive it all because the adventure and the anger was half the fun. Now I'm buying both version of the album (Standard and Deluxe) so I'm telling myself it's ok to download it so yall gotta go and pre-order that shit on iTunes before you download it illegally, you illegal downloader bitches.

Pre-order "Warrior" on la iTunes NAO!

Also, the entire album is up for streaming on iTunes so you can listen to the entire damn thing before you decide to bow down and inevitably pay for your copy.

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SHINee PREMIERE AMAZING NON-BOX MUSIC VIDEO FOR THEIR FLAWLESS NEW JAPANESE SINGLE "100 YEARS..."

 

The new Kings of Japan have unleashed the full PV / MV for their flawless new single "1000 Years..." and it's so beautiful, like so beautiful the only other word that comes to mind is super beautiful. It's about some hospital patient and SHINee are like some angels or some shit and there's a flying bus and a lot of sad scenes and a lot of tears (mainly coming from my eyes, because I got a little teary)

The video has a long, yet, impeccable intro where you see the boys waiting for a bus, yes, a bus, can your fave wait for a bus as flawless as the new Kings of Japan?!? Don't think so bitch. 

The scenes in the hospital are so sad though. I hate seeing little kids in pain and in hospitals. It reminds me of the Xmas I had to spend in the hospital and it just brings too many sad memories back to life. The flashback scenes only make the sadness worst. It's so sad yet so cute to see his dad's ghost still look after him and be there. I have daddy issues ok, so whenever I see a great dad it makes me cry.

Ok enough about my rough childhood, the song is not as great as the video which is surprising. SHINee usually deliver some great mid-tempos (JoJo, etc) but I'm not loving this song as much as I thought I would. Maybe it's beacause I just got used to "Dazzling Girl" and it's too soon for me. 

Anyway, watch and listen their new single below.

*Secret time bitches: I didn't realize he was supposed to be a ghost until I watch the video again when I started writing this blog post but I bet you I made it sound like I knew it from the beginning, cuz that's what I do, I make shit happen.

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TVXQ PREMIERE NEW SINGLE "HUMANOIDS" / NOT AS GREAT AS "CATCH ME" BUT WHAT IN THIS WORLD IS?

 

How would I describe "Humanoids".... hmmm... well it's like the non-breasted sister of "Catch Me" that didn't get big enough boobs during puberty so she has to suck a lot of dicks and have faux lesbian seshs with her friends to make up for it. In all seriousness, I do like the song it's just not up there with "Catch Me" and "Keep Your..." 

"Humanoids" starts off promising in both the video and the song with Changmin (aka Max, aka the man of my dreams and the daddy of my imaginary twins). The intro is really impressive; the way Changmin whispers for like half a minute is boner inducing but then Yunho's verse is so dull, like so so so so dull I almost fell asleep, it's not until Changmin starts to sing-talk that it becomes interesting again, but, then they lose me during the first part of the chorus. 

The way I'd also describe the song is a rollercoaster that goes really high, really fast but then it comes down and the adrenaline just disappears.  The whole "cuz we are humaaaaanoids" bit is really boring, the chorus only gets good when they start singing the rest of the chorus that I can't spell because I don't know Korean so you're just gonna have to listen to the chorus and hope you understand what the fuck I'm trying to talk about. 

The video is a bit of a letdown as well. I mean it's cool they have the tools flying around and they're doing their best impression of "Catch Me" during the choreo parts but it's just not working for me. They need another blockbuster video like "Before You Go"

If I were a teacher and this was a student's project I'd give it 6/10 to be completely honest with you. Changmin's bits get 5/6 points I just gave it btw.

Don't think for ONE second I'm not adding this to my jams playlist. I'm going to replay the shit out of this song because there shall be no TVXQ (duo) song that I dislike so I'm gonna force myself to like it, I'm gonna force myself to love the shit out of this bitch even if it's a boring half-mess.

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GIRLS ALOUD'S "ON THE METRO" LEAKS / NICOLA REMAINS A FLAW-FREE SONGWRITER

 

Girls Aloud are showing every bitch in the bizz what it really takes to be the number one girl group in the world. Their comeback has been short of amazing. Their comeback single "Something New" was an amazing intro to the beautiful cheesy ballad "Beautiful 'Cause You Love Me" and now along with "Every Now and Then" comes "On The Metro" which is by far the best song out of the four and I'm not saying that just cuz NicGodla Roberts wrote the masterpiece. 

"On The Metro" opens with Nicola singing about one hundred Os and Xs... that must have been a bitch to type down on text, can you imagine just holding on to the Os and the Xs for like a minute and a half? Atrocious. The song then starts to build up while Sarah and Nicola share the pre-chorus lines sounding flawless as usual. 

The chorus is where things really get great. It's catchy, the beat is addicting, the repetitive "on the window, on the window, on the window..." it's just genius, can your fave? I can really tell that they mean business.

The other thing that makes me happier than a Black Friday enthusiast first in line at Best Buy is that Nicola leads the song, as she should, cuz she fucking wrote it. Having Nicola sing lead is always what every song should be like, her chorus are amazing, her lines are amazing, I've yet to hear her say any line that's not flawless.

"Left my heart on the disco

Now I'm crying on the metro

Wrote your name on the window,

On the window, on the window..."

Flaws have yet to surface.

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DAL*SHABET RELEASE NEW FLAWLESS KPOP GEM "HAVE / DON'T HAVE", EVERYTHING IS FLAWLESS.

 

I've always liked Dal*Shabet, they're cute, bubbly and super talented. Ok, maybe "talented" is a stretch but they have really grown to be great entertainers and the back-up vocal isn't that loud anymore. "Have, Don't Have" is a fantastic disco gem with a modern twist that's just addicting; but, what I'm here for is really the "Electro Swing Remix" because it is seriously the best thing to happen to earth since water.

The music video is obviously cute as a button. The song is funky and the whole UFO faux thing is really adorable. I also love how it starts for like 30 million years and then it's like "oh it's just an intro, psych here's the actual song. The theme of the video is silly as fuck. They're aliens or something that love the 80s and dance around to it and then electrify people and they start dancing #ORIGINAL! 

I love this group, they have all the twins and by that I mean. There's the Hyun A look-a-like, the F(X) member with the crazy hats look-a-like. We also have the Nine Muses look-a-like, and a couple of them look like they'd be perfect for T-Ara. 

The dance, oh my goodness, the dance move is fucking amazing. I wanna learn it and just do that for the rest of my life and say "ooh ah ooh ah ooooooooh" for the rest of my life after every sentence ooh ah ooh ah ooooooh!

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TAYLOR SWIFT PERFORMS "I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE" / STARTS SHOOTING MV!

 

The queen of album sales of the 21st century, aka, Ms. Taylor Swift has in four weeks sold 2.8M copies of her amazing new album "Red". She's been performing different songs on different tv shows. She performed "IKYWT" at the AMAs yesterday, which btw was epic because she's epic and that's what epic people do, they're epic. Not only has she done all of that, she also started shooting the music video RIGHT after the AMAs #dedication.

"IKYWT" has already been #3 on the Hot 100 so it's definitely a fan-fave. The dubstep-y anthem for dumb bitches everywhere, will definitely be a huge hit. I can't wait for Taylor to get all her Grammy's for best break up song of the fucking millenium.

"e, e, e, e, e..."

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CHRISTINA AGUILERA IS EXPECTED TO SELL UP TO 80K... FLOPTUS COMING THRU

 

 Floptina...

LOL! 

That's all.

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KE$HA RELEASES "C'MON" OFF OF "WARRIOR" AKA "YOUR LOVE IS..." 2012

Ke$ha has combined two of her biggest hits and called it a new song. "C'mon" borrows a lot, if not completely from "Tik Tok" and "Your Love Is My Drug" and smashes them together creating something you did not need in your life. Surprisingly, whoever the fuck produced it, is a fucking genius because the song is short of flaws and full of #1 hit. 

"C'mon" is your typical Ke$ha songs, she wants to get you out your clothes and into the bedroom so she can pretend you're a ghost and fuck you til your dick falls off. It's a fun, carefree, flawfree, pop masterpiece and no one but God$ha could do this. The sing-talk-rap verse is giving me all the life my life needs.

Lyrics to live by:

"Better pack a toothbrush, gonna pull an all-nighter"

I really have nothing else to say, I'm slayed.

Buy "C'mon" on iTunes now!

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NICOLA AND GIRLS ALOUD PERFORM "SOMETHING NEW" + A NEW TRACK AT THE CHILDREN IN NEED!

After three cruel and devastating years of no Girls Aloud singles, albums, tours or performances; the amazing five-some are back at it with their first televised performance for their brand new Children In Need / comeback single "Something New" And if that wasn't enough, Nicola and the rest of Girls Aloud also showed the UK and the internet why they all won "Popstar Rivals" back in 2002 with their spankingly cheesy ballad "Beautiful 'Cause You Love Me"

It's so nice to see the girls back at it pretending they all stand Nadine and that everything is dandy and cute. I love it, it's pop at its' finest and I am jizzing like I haven't jacked off in days! Nicola being the most beautiful and pale of them all really shined in these performances, sounding just like the CD version for both performances. She was so cute, I would wear her.

Kimberly; who's also busy hustling those "Strictly Come Dancing" votes looked as divine as ever. Her make up was cute, her clothes were cute, her hair was cute, her body was... super cute. Sarah, Nadine and Cheryl looked alright. Sarah, darling, please for the love of everything that is good in the world, STOP the surgeries, you've always been a beautiful girl now it looks like your lips start at your ears, not cute.

What I really liked about both performances is that Nadine didn't over-shadow any of the other members as she used to before their hiatus. I think the fact that her album flopped harder than a fish out of water really showed Xenomania that she is not the "face" of GA.

"Something New"

"Beautiful 'Cause..." + Interview

Buy "Something New" November 18th bitches, give my girls their 5th #1 and their 21st Top 10!!

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THAI CUTIE, NATHEW, RELEASES GENERIC YET FLAWLESS KOREAN DEBUT SINGLE "SHE'S BAD"

 

Let me start off by saying I know nothing about Nathew, whether or not he's famous in Thailand or if he's released anything worth listening to in Thai. Now with the awkward moment out of the way, "She's Bad" is a nice, thick, juice slice of Korean Pop goodness. It's addicting, it's got a generic beat our brain is familiar with, it's got a shit ton of auto-tune, pretty much, it's every male pop singer's dream song. 

Nathew, aka, The Thai Cutie, made his debut (insert date here) but I can't find his actual debut stage so you're gonna have to deal with this one. 

This performance is solid, like seriously solid, it's like that solid cement on the ground just being solid and cute. The performance all jokes aside is pretty good. There's the obvious loud back-up track but when he sings, he sings. I also want to say that it's impressive, his Korean sounds really good and trust me, Korean is HARD AS FUCK to learn, those bp sounds, ugh. 

My only problem with the performance was that creepy guy with the sunglasses being a creepster, like who are you and why are you taking up the ENTIRE fucking stage and you're just standing there, like dafukk? Move, shake, fall on the ground, DO SOMETHING. 

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ARASHI'S "WELCOME TO OUR PARTY" IS THE BEST JPOP SONG SINCE 1567! / "POPCORN" IS #1 ALBUM IN THE WORLD (FOR SERIOUS)

If you know me or my  blog, yall know I don't fancy JPop as much as I fancy KPop. I don't know, their songs are usually too cutesy and autotuned but literally two minutes ago while visiting a blog I saw that these Arashi people have the best selling album in the WORLD for the previous week with 701,000 copies sold. Can your favez? Don't think so. Anyway, it peaked my interest and well, thanks to YouTube I now know of the amazing JPop. 

"Welcome to The Party" is the best song to ever come out of Japan. It's fun, it's fresh, it's Top 40, it could outsell your favez in the US with an English version. It's really, really, really catchy and upbeat and it just makes you happy. "Say ehhhoh!" 

"Make you happy happy happy happy happy!" is the best line ever. like ever. 

Just downloaded the album, gonna listen to it as I get ready to go clubbing. 

IT'S A PARTY TIME!!!

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KE$HA PERFORMS "DIE YOUNG" ON THE XFACTOR (AURSTRALIA) AND SUNRISE!

 

Queen$ha has been spending some time down under promoting her new single / anthem "Die Young". Ke$ha not only made some serious improvements vocally over the last year, she's also learned how to dance and play the drums, what can't she do? 

Ke$hus Chri$$$t, or the anti-Chri$$$t by the looks of these Illuminati infused performances, has never sounded so good live (I went to see her live last year). Her charisma and personality are finally coming out to play.  I love that she took some time to tour, write and learn her craft. She's come back a little too Illuminati for my liking but she's a Pisces, I'm a Pisces and we stick together like oil and water, so bitches grab a number and wait. 

"Die Young" is doing rather well in Australia apparently, I don't know exact numbers but it's slaying the shit outta ya kangaroos. I love how they introduce Holy$ha with all these "#1s and best selling single of 2010" can your fave?

The XFactor performance was obviously a bigger stage so it required more glitter, but besides that both performances are solid. The breakdown / tribal dance is fucking epic by the way. Just wait til you hear it / see it!

XFACTOR

SUNRISE

Buy "Die Young" on iTunes now!

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BOYFRIEND RELEASE COMEBACK SINGLE AND MV FOR "JANUS"

 

After outselling everyone in Japan in KPop history and being the most read blog post in my blog, BOYFRIEND is back with their first full length album titled "Janus". The comeback album and single of the same name premiered today and it is so good, like soooooo good it makes you wonder why other groups suck. 

"Jansu" sees the lovely fivesome take a different route, leaving behind their cute, boy next door theme, "Janus" sees our favez in extravagant and expensive outfits, looking manly and sexy. The video sees them all fighting for this slut that's dating all of them at once (what a lucky slut), the twins are also fighting for her (sexy incest). 

The choreo is really sharp, kinda reminds me of SHINee's "Sherlock" but it stands as its own flawlessness. I love how much they have grown and you can definitely tell that being more famous in Japan has given them the confidence they needed to really nail it. 

The twins are so grown-up now!! Watching their debut single / mv is so cute cuz they were to wittle!!!! 

Can't wait to see them perform this live!

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ONE DIRECTION NEED TO RELEASE "KISS YOU" OFF THEIR FLAW-FREE / MASTERPIECE / ORIGINAL NEW ALBUM "TAKE ME HOME"

 

One Direction, aka the biggest boy band since 'NSYNC are back at it with their new album "Take Me Home". The soon-to-be the best thing since sliced bread and butter is an amazing album that deserves to outsell ya favez. One of the standout tracks in my opinion is "Kiss You". It literally made me a 1D'er.

The song is funky with beats I can't even describe because every time I try to write this blog I start singing the damn song "if every time we touch, you get this kinda rush, baby say yeah yeah yeah" and then it gets all funky and fun and I just wanna tell them to "take me home" and just do me.

"Kiss You" sees the boys in a different genre (biased) I think you'd describe it as 60s feel for the verses and 90s for the chorus. It's messy, weird and I love it!

I'm gonna run to the nearest person and just shout "na na na na na na na na let me kiss you!" 

The snippet, I can't find the damn song on YouTube. 

Buy "Take Me Home" next week when it comes out bitches or fear me!

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INDONESIAN ROOKIE GROUP SNATCH KPOP QUEEN HYUN A FOR DEBUT INDO/ENGLISH DEBUT SINGLE "SHE'S MY GIRL" / SLAY SOUTH KOREA AND ASIA ALL AT ONCE!

Indonesia finally jumped on the manufactured bandwagon*. Unleashing the flawless new group titled S4 (Sexy, Smart, Sweet and Sentimental) Yeah, that's what it stands for but please try to forget that and listen to them, they really are flawless. Also, Hyun A is in their debut single... yeah I got your attention now didn't I?

"She's My Girl" will definitelly be released in Korean within weeks because it has everything a KPop song needs to be a smash. It's fun, energetic, alive, catchy, and it has Queen of KPop, multi-talented, multi-fasceted, multi-wig snatcher, Hyun A. The song is packed with fun synths that'll definitelly keep you jumping. The song is about a girl, being cute and stuff, and how she's his "girl" and to not "touch touch" because he will fuck you up. Indonesians are so gangsta!

The video is also flaw-free. The girl pretending to be Hyun A is obviously not as fierce as Hyun A herself, but really, besides Britney, who else is that fierce? Back to the video, it has a simple theme, they're looking cute, sexy, smart, sweet and definitely sentimental, homeboys do not want you to touch touch their girl.

Enjoy it, and someone, if you know of any other flaw-free Indonesian GROUPS, please email me. kfankzbye.

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