JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE RELEASES COMEBACK SINGLE "SUIT & TIE (FEAT. JAY Z)"

Justin Timberlake has taken his sweet ass motherfucking time with this comeback. It has been 4564 decades since he released "Sexy Back" and my body is ready for some new magic. "Suit & Tie" may not be "SB2.0" but it definitely proves that he gives no fucks.

You see, he asked Timbaland to produce it so you automatically know his fuck-book return is past due. The song is very typical Timbaland, drum, drum, boom.

Now, I'm probably one of the few that are enjoying this song. Maybe because I've been at work all week and need to chill the fuck out, but, "S&T" is really doing it for it. It's completely different than what's on the radio and Timbaland somehow manages to add an instrumental that gives the song an entire new feeling. Yeah, it might be the same beat he's been releasing since 1929, your fave will still never.

The intro for the song is really long and really creepy and really useless though. I'm not here to hear Timbaland's nasty ass, deep ass, creepy ass voice. But once you get past the 45 longest seconds of your life, the masterpiece starts to begin and it's so good! I've missed Justin singing in my ear, he sounds so sweet and so lovely in this. If only he wasn't married, he could be with Britney now and make delicious magic.

*To be quite fucking honest, I'm not here for Jay Z so... listen to the song cuz I skip his part*

Now show them who you call daddy and Buy "Suit & Tie" on iTunes bitches. Give him that #1!!!

Can't fucking wait for this epic music video!

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ZIONA RELEASES THE 2013 ANTHEM "INVITED"

The world has been wondering who would be the Rebs Black of 2013, well, I think I found her. Ziona is an epic singer from *the USA, I think, she looks ethnic though so* Well Fiona is a bad ass bitch. She uses autotune like it's her bitch and she gives no fuck. She also likes to lick guy's faces at laundry places and no fucks were given by the new Queen of Pop, Ziona. 

"Invited" is a fun tale about a girl that wants to get in a guy's pants, literally, and he's invited...(in her), and she wants him to eff up that pussy and bust it real good. The autotune usage is just as sexy as the raunchy lyrics. It's like 4055694302 layers of background singers and layers of autotune. It's like a BLT  sandwich of auto tune and backup singers. But you know what? It is flawless. The beat is flawless, the song is flawless, the bitch is flawless, flaws weren't found, call back later. 

This video is just too fucking flawless.

*I got a pretty little paper with your name engraved.

You're invited oh, you're invited, invited, invited oh!"

The whole bit about Miami and Tampa Bay being ready... oh I died.

*real beauty*

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CUTE TAYLOR SWIFT SHOWS CLEAVAGE AT THE PCAs / BACK IN THE STUDIO!

The bitch looks so flawless, it's like you're looking at a wax figure of herself. Seriously, no fucking flaws have been or will ever be found. Taylor Swift looked fucking stunning last night, so stunning that you forget she's just broken up with Harry Styles, but then you look at that cleavage and it screams "LOOK AT DIZ! CUZ YOU CAN'T HAVE NONE O' DIIIIIZZZ"

Taylor's boobs are not playing around. They give no fucks that it's January and it's cold as fuck. They give no fucks about the weather. They also give no damn fucks that they're a little on the A cup because they got some tape on them, they got pulled all the way up and they look like cute little pears. I would make a fruit salad and eat them up, tbh. She looked divine. Divine Swift.

Taylor Swift is also back in the studio, writing and producing some hot gems for us. This comes as no surprise as homegurl makes her millies every time she breaks up with someone. 

I for one, can't wait for the Harry love / break up songs. "You're just one direction, and this ain't no..." i don't know, I feel she's gonna have their name somewhere in the fucking song to declare her war on the British heartthrobs. Like, you don't get it. I am so excited for this, much more excited than when I found out she was writing a break-up song about Douche-Meyer. 

Watch out for "Red (Repackage / The Harry Break-Up)" re-release. Another breakup, another millie.

*I nominate that as the album cover*

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ONE DIRECTION'S "KISS YOU" MUSIC VIDEO AKA THE STORY OF HARRY AND ZAYN'S ROMANCE!

I think One Direction reads my blog because they decided to give "Kiss You" the green light for their next single. The song is probably their catchiest and most fun to date and I am glad they chose to be as goofy as possible in their music video. After 1,039,495,059,737 previews and teasers, they FINALLY released this epic music video.

This post is solely dedicated to the homosexual* relationship between Mr. Harry and Mr. Zayn, aka, The Hottest Bitches From The UK!

The video starts off with HotZayn riding a motorcycle with the cheapest backdrop known to mankind. It's so cheap that it makes me completely flawless. Harry then out of nowhere comes out and starts hugging my man Zayn and at some point starts playing with his nipple. Just looking at that picture, you know Zayn is a nipple man because he is like "yeah, yeah, squeeze them nipples!" 

Poor Liam, he's like, I'm not getting paid enough to see what Harry is doing back there. That is some serious S&M going on in there and while in a motorcycle? Inventive and salacious! You know one thing I really appreciate is that these lads brushed their tongues. If it's one thing I hate is when people open their mouths wide as fuck and it's all white and crusty, but my boys got some toothbrushes and make their tongues all cute and pink. brownie points.

Harry is an inventive little lad. That position isn't hard to pull off and he is doing it quite lovely if Im' honest with myself. You can tell Zayn is also very pleased and impressed by Harry's acrobatics. What is happening in this video shoot and how much alcohol did they give these kids?

Liam is like "I give up, the fuck is this shit?!?" Oh this video is gonna surpass everything and anything on YouTube.

If that wasn't enough, Mr. Zayn at the very end of the video plants a big one on Harry, leaving the por guy just bashful. Look at Nial, he's like "I'm forever alone!" Louis is probably thinking "shouldn't have agreed to this" and Liam "Make funny faces, ignore the homos to your left" 

In all seriousness though, the video is pretty hilarious and full of fun and cute moments. 

Watch out "Gangnam Style" I think "Kiss You" is gonna take your spot!!!

*There's not really homosexual, they just love nipples and acrobatic positions*

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GLAM'S "I LIKE THAT" IS PURE MAGIC! / PERFORM ON INKIGAYO!

This is the first time I listen to GLAM, I had intentionally been neglecting them because of their name, who the fuck names themselves "GLAM"? But I was bored earlier and started to snoop around and found their comeback performance for Inkigayo and I am hooked.

The foursome has a lot of energy and charisma. The leader *girl on the left with pink sweater* gives us some real fierceness while the girl on the far right gives us some real magic. Homegirls are fucking amazing. They get real cute and real crunk, real quick.

This song you'll either love or hate, that's what I've seen online. There's some people that really love the beats and others who think GLAM is wasting their potential on a shitty song. Well, you know what I say? This song is fucking amazing, it's catchy, it's well produced and the vocal arrangement is fucking great. The only thing I would change is that I'd give my fave *girl on the right* more lines but we all know how KPop works. 

The music video is fucking hilarious. The whole theme is that they are on a television, on any channel so the background chances from fun to "horror" In a very themed KPop, these girls have seriously done some justice.

Their comeback stage for Inkigayo was short of amazing. The girls looked happy, bubbly and so ready to tear some weaves. What I love about this performance is that they all seem to be having fun, even when they're not even singing lines, they look so happy and dance their routine so effortlessly. Can your fave?

The girl on the right for president tbh.

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DEAR CCM, SOYEON IS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. MIGHT AS WELL LET QRI LEAD.

 

This is my open letter to CCM, home of T-Ara.

CCM used to get everything right, the right songs, the right about of lines given to each girl, who to put on the spotlight, etc. But ever since they decided to switch leaders and give Soyeon the thrown, shit has gone downhill. You see Soyeon isn't as vocally talented as Hyomin or Eunjung and she's nowhere near as bitchy as Jiyeon and let's not compare her looks to the real Queen of Beauty, Queen Qri.

There has been people in the hospitals, people getting "allegedly" bullied, Hwayoung left the group and their last two songs didn't do as well as they had hoped. Back in 2011, T-ara was going so strong it was unbelievable. "Roly Poly" was selling more than Kimchi; T-Ara was everywhere and look at them now, their popularity has taken a dump and run, their so called comeback for July was postponed to August, which postponed their scheduled comeback for October, which postponed the debut of their newest victim / jailbait / member Danii. 

And I don't even get it to be honest. Soyeon is not the most famous in the group, she can't fucking sing live, she sounds like someone is choking her. Their latest performance was a rehash of "Sexy Love" for the 2012 KBS Festival and she sounded like death. They keep making excuses about her vocals. For "Day by Day" it was her infection or something, for "Sexy Love" it was exhaustion, like, how many excuses can you make? 

The weirdest thing of all is that they were supposed to start changing leaders every comeback. So, technically they should be on their third switch by now but somehow she manages to stay the leader. I don't wanna say too many salty things because CCM is known for suing everyone and their mother, but, whoever she's doing favors for at CCM most really love what she does because, let's be honest, Qri could do a better job.

Qri has been getting better and better with each comeback, she's more vivid, she's more bubbly, she's getting more and more fans by the nano-second and she sounds much better. Maybe it's because she gets one or two spoken lines in the song but she sounds like a true Queen!

Hyomin and Eunjung really did set the bar really high as they are the ones who lead T-Ara to stardom. Give Qri the thrown or give it to anyone else, anyone but Soyeon, please.

WTF is this fuckery!?

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SNSD / GIRLS GENERATION SACRIFICES SIX INSTRUMENTALS TO MAKE THEIR COMEBACK SINGLE "I GOT A BOY"

 

I've never been a huge fan of Girls Generation. In fact, I used to really dislike their style until they released "The Boys". My main problem with the Divine Nine is that they are too cute and clean and bubbly. Starting with Gee and ending with Taxi, all of their previous hits have been a little too sugary for me and my Dr. said I should avoid sugar unless I wanna get diabetes. 

When they released "The Boys" I was pleasantly surprised, it was a huge move for them, they ditched the cute look for a more sexy and mature look and sound. So when I saw the video for their comeback single "I Got A Boy" I was not shocked at all, in fact, I could predict their song was gonna be a little more k-hip-hop. What I wasn't expecting was that SM would sacrifice five different instrumentals to make up the final track.

To note, also, it's kind of predictable of SM to release a five-instrumental mash-up when they just released SHINee's "Sherlock (Clue + Note)" But in KPop fashion, it's never a repeat if you do it bigger, better and with cute girls.

The song starts with a really long intro, and I mean, really long but it's hot as fuck. The girl who starts off has the tiniest waist I have ever seen in a woman. Seriously, as I was listening to the song all I could stare at was her tiny as fuck waist, damn, I need to get tips from her. 

Then they decide to skip to beat #2 which is a little bit cuter than the rest but nonetheless flawless. This part has me going though because it starts off with "Let me introduce myself, here comes trouble" Thank you for introducing yourself, but who are you? Because the second half of that line states trouble is coming but you still didn't tell me who you were!!!! This must be answered. Besides the biggest question of 2013, the girls also do their best impersonation of 2NE1, and may I say, maybe because there's nine of them, but shit looks hot as fuck. The styling is very 2NE1 the "oh oh eh" is very 2NE1 and the faux CL rap is flawless.

Don't get too confrotable though because that bit only lasts about 10 seconds until they head of the beat #3 or as I call it CRUNK MODE BITCHES. That bit has more swag than a stadium full of bitches in Gucci. The beat is addicting and the girl with that teal / blonde hair has an open invitation to let me have her babies. She is by far my favorite because she's so tiny but she's so fierce. Let me birth your kids!!!! 

The song then goes back to beat #2 because what's a good KPop song without a lot little of repetition?! Then out of nowhere this bitch goes "Hey yo stop, let me put it another way" and bamn beat #4 is coming at you faster than a cum shot on a straight porn video cassette. This is what I call, ADORABLE DUBSTEP. The beat is phat and the dub steps are harder than a giant on the land of midgets. It's fun and cute but the hook is weak. This is the only flaw in the song, sadly, it's the part where they sing the title of the song. it's just not doing it for me. "I got a boy meecheel" is what that sounds like and that is not what I'm here for. 

The faux CL raps are really doing it for me during this part though and my teal girl switched wigs (because you obviously can't repeat wigs in the same video, who are you?) 

And finally, the fifth and hopefully last instrumental comes in, uninvited, unannounced and ready to shake up your world. This part is really hard to describe but all I see is smiles. Thankfully this is a brief cameo because then it goes back to ADORABLE DUBSTEP. 

Oh wait, I lied, there is a 6th beat. It's this faux-rock breakdown with them wearing some weird ass wigs. Again, you can't repeat wigs like you repeat hooks, take notes bitches.

Now don't get me wrong, I would not spend all this time breaking this beats down one by one if I didn't fucking adore this damn piece of hot mess. This is the riskiest move GG has ever made and for me, it paid off. This is what it did for me

A. Showed me they have some ghetto in there

B. Showed me someone else besides 2NE1 can be "hood" 

C. Showed me the smallest waist I've ever seen

D. Gave me an excuse to stan for GG.

Some GG fans are throwing some major fits over at All KPop and you know what I say to them? Shut the fuck up and enjoy this dysfunctional song because it'll be overplayed in South Korea more than the national anthem during Independence Day and this shit will get carved into your brain so give up now so we can make fun of the ones that are gonna suffer.

Buy "I Got A Boy"!!!

Also, happy new years my bitches!! Thank you for reading my crazy ass blog. You cute bitches be cute!

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