U-KISS RELEASE FLAWLESS NEW SINGLE "GANGSTAR BOY"

 

When you first hear the title for U-KISS's new amazing single "Gangstar Boy", you might get a little confused. No it's not about the star of a gang group named Boy. No, that would be too predictable. It's about a cute boy singing cute lyrics to this cute girl over fun and funky synths and auto-tune to kill ya favez career.

There's a cute breakdown that sounds like it could be from Mario Brothers, until it turns to some Skrillex shit, so I'm assuming Skrillex is coming out with his Mario Brothers Remix disc. I'd buy it to be honest.

If I'm frank though, Skrillex wasn't associated in this masterpiece. The song is a rollercoa-star, it builds up, it crashes down and it spins you like a merry go around. The last bit of the song is them going "Na na na na na na na na na na" for like 20 minutes and you know what? It's flaw-less. 

All they need is a super fun, super cute little video that goes viral and they take over Psy's overdue 15 minutes.

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BAKER RETURNS WITH "IF U LOVE ME"

 

If you're one of the hundreds of people that read my introduction post about BAKER, then, you should probably know that he just released his new single "If U Love Me" The song is a nice piece of club anthem. BAKER begs "if u love me, let me hear you say it" and the synths are going nuts and the drums are like boom, and you're fist pumping like you're not writing this blog post on your bed, in your room. 

"If U Love Me" is his catchiest song to date. The chorus borrows a bit from SIA's magical-four sentence-repeat-chorus book. BAKER is definitely looking at what's hot and catchy right now because he chose the best line ever! Who hasn't been through that? Not knowing if someone loves you and you're just begging inside your head that he/she says it to you. It's like coming back to the party you weren't invited to. So sad! 

But the amazing thing is that the beat is so fucking sick! Seriously, whoever produced this needs to get some major BJs tonight because this beat is fucking hot! The build-up is flawless and the climax, ooooooh! 

The music video is quite simple for a good two or so minutes. It's just BAKER on the beach, holding some weird blue boombox, looking a hot sexy piece of meat. Why is this man so damn good looking? It's no fair! When he gets to the club and starts chugging a beer, looking hot as a mofo. No fair. 

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GIRLS GENERATION RELEASE "DANCING QUEEN" A COVER / REWORK OF "MERCY" BY DUFFY

 

Someone over at SM Entertainment had an amazing idea four years ago. The idea was to have SNSD record a video for a song they'd release four years later. The song was a cover of Duffy's "Mercy" but only reworked so much it should be considered an original song. "Dancing Queen" not only is their best song to date, but, it's also their catchiest.

The music video serves as a look back at SNSD / Girls Generation from their start. The theme of the video is time travel; as it shows the girls from current time, past and also gives us a glimpse of their official comeback single "I Got A Boy" that will be released in 2013. 

The girls all look fucking perfect. There is absolutely no flaws in this music video at all. The harmonies are there, the song is there, the new beat is there, the everything. This song is missing absolutely nothing. 

The bit in the bridge when one of them says "I wanna be a dancing queen." It's so fucking fierce is unbelievable. I'm usually more of a T-Ara fan but seriously, if they released these type of flawless songs all the time I would definitely consider being a stan for them.

I think I forgot to mention why this is a big deal for is; it's because I hate Duffy's version, she sounds like someone stuck a pipe down her throat. These girls made it so fresh, fun and cute. 

You got me begging you for merrrrcy

Buy "Dancing Queen" on iTunes!

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DEMI LOVATO'S PERFORMANCE AT THE XFACTOR USA FINALE GAVE ME SOME MAJOR CHILLS!

 

You know, I've never really been a fan of Demi. She's cute and all but she's no Selena Gomez in my eyes (the true queen of Disney) I thought her cute little job at the XFactor was cute and adorable and that she was an OK judge. "Give Your Heart A Break" aka the longest fucking title ever is a song I can actually tolerate so when I found out that she was gonna perform it at the finale with Flop Harmo-lost-their-ny I was a bit intrigued. 

Demi (unlike Godney) can actually perform well live so it was no surprise that Fifth Harmony's duet was gonna be the best performance of the night. The song started with the girl that looks like Rachel from Glee and then they all sang their bits, then the Rachel 2.0 gets all faux-sentimental while she attempts to present Demi. Demi then starts singing like it's 1945 and we just came from war. 

Demi does some weird hand movements, sings like it's no one's business, and just look fucking flawless as fuck. The best moment is when she sings "we can take it, if you just take my hand" and seriously my body was chilling, it started to tingle and get goosebumps everywhere.

I also love how FlawlesssMi Lovato goes up to the judges table and just belts some serious vocals at Simon, kinda acknowledges Britney and completely ignores LA. I love how Simon has to swallow his pride and gives Demi probably the best compliment of her entire flawless existence.

Flawless bitch be flawless!

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GIRLS ALOUD PERFORM THEIR CLASSIC "LOVE MACHINE" AT THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW!

 

Girls Aloud, aka, The BIGGEST / MOST SUCCESSFUL girl group in the UK, continue to promote their latest Greatest Hits album "Ten" (in stores now). They recently visited The Graham Norton Show to perform one of their flawless classics "Love Machine". The Girls Almighty Aloud used their Tangled Up Tour Mix for it with the hot breakdown.

"Love Machine" was and is considered one of their signature songs. The fun and funky song was released more than half a decade ago but it still slays harder than anything your fave has and will ever release. 

The performance was amazing, it was entertaining, the girls were flirty with the back-up dancers, it had life, it had spunk, it had everything Girls Aloud. 

After the iconic performance, they sat down (and kicked everyone out of the couch) for a mini interview. Graham called out Nadine flawless accent and recalled the time she was on America's Next Top Model, and how they used subtitled throughout the entire time she was on it. Nadine, being the cunty bitch she is replies with "can you believe it?... back to the ten years..." They spoke about how flawless they are, how they are the best thing since sliced bread, how they have more Top 10 singles than Spice Girls and The Beatles, etc, etc, etc.

One of the cute moments is when Graham asked if anyone had read Cheryl's book and they all were so embarrassed because none of them had. Cheryl quickly came to their defense and said they had been there so there was no need. Besides calling some of the girls out, Graham also calls out one of their ridiculous fans (no it wasn't me). You have to see that part, omg, that face is ridic!!! 

The entire thing was magical and just... magical.

Watch the performance here! 

Because AloudSound.Net does not believe in  emblemming. -_-

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DAILY GRACE, A FABULOUS VLOGGER, AND HER MAIN BITCHES RELEASE NEW CHRISTMAS CLASSIC "CHRISTMAS SWEATZ"!

 

Daily Grace is one of my favorite YouTube Vloggers, she's funny, she's cute, she's nasty and naughty and a little bit of nice from time to time. She's funky and she knows no limits, except for speeding limits. The ho recently moved to California and that's probably the best decision she's ever made. She's made appearances on other vloggers, and an interview with Ms. Pohler, yeah, from SNL, Pohler. Today (or yesterday, idk your time) her and her group of flawless bitches uploaded what I'm predicting will be a new Christmas Classic. 

"Christmas Sweatz" is a funny, tongue-in-cheek little tail about a group of guys and gals, exchanging sweatpants and sweatshirts to make them festive. It sounds like the stupidest thing since "Friday" but... it is beyond flawless. 

"You get some red sweats, I'll get some green sweats, we got Christmas sweatz" The magic doesn't end there, the fabulous foursome then add a new holiday to the mix when they invite their forever alone blue friend and make Hannukah Sweatz.

"You get some blue sweatz, I'll get some white sweatz, we got Hanukkah sweatz" when and where did these magical lyrics occur?!!? I want to be invited to the next one. But sadly another black guy already took my spot as they continue their spotless single with a Kwanza stanza. "You get some red sweatz, I get some green sweatz, he gets some black sweatz, Kwanza sweatz"

Why must they destroy all my hopes and dreams?!?!?! 

I'm telling you, this video is gonna go viral and for the next couple of decades, our children's childrens are gonna sing this like it's a prayer to Santa. 

I wanna meet Amanda. She's cool.

And no, I am not kidding, I even bought this damn song on iTunes!

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TAYLOR SWIFT PREMIERES "I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE" MUSIC VIDEO!

 

Thank to the flawless lyrics written by the pop/country songstress; "IKYWT" has been selling pretty well in digital music stores as well as gaining radio play in huge amounts. "IKYWT" sees Taylor taking the brave route, she admits she's stupid and that she likes bad guys and that it's her damn fault when they break her achey breaky heart. 

The music video tries really hard to get you to believe their love is true. With many shots of them being cute and hugging each other and kissing and Taylor spreading her legs while he plays the guitar; it's fucking insane. The video fails at actually making you like him because he's a total douchebag. The scene at the bar when he touches one of the billiard balls just to fuck with the guy; seriously? That's not even gangster. So when he other guy and his gang started beating the shit out of him, I was glad 'cause mofo needs to learn.

At least this video has an actual plot, although, it's not a great one. The video never really goes there. It's like stuck in the middle. It's probably a video Miley Cyrus would have released before "Can't Be Tamed" or Britney before "I'm a Slave 4 U". It's racey but not raunchy; it's flirty but not slutty. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Taylor, next video, please get one of Britney's old directors.

Sorry for the MQ video; it's all that's online as of right now.

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SELENA GOMEZ DANCES TO "I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE" BY TAYLOR SWIFT / FLAWLESS DANCER / FLAWLESS QUEEN!

 

Selena Gomez wants to send Justin Bieber a big ol' "I Knew You Were Trouble" in this new video. Selena dances, is sex doll and belts out some serious vocals. 

If you don't know yet, Sel and Justin have been on a bit of a rocky situation for the last couple of weeks so this video comes as no surprise. Selena is usually pretty quiet about these sorts of things so this is kind of a huge deal.

It's also good to note that this video is actually 10000 times better than the actual video Taylor just premiered (mind you I actually haven't seen it, but Selena > Taylor; in my  book, any day, any second, any nano second.) 

It's also the first time we actually see Selena dance and homegurl; I see there's a bit of Britney in you and I am waiting patiently for you to come out with a banged-up, sexed-up single. 

You can thank Selena and her three minions when this song goes to #1.

Also, you can expect a new Selena album next year, of course it'll be flawless.

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TAYLOR SWIFT'S "RED" SELLS MORE THAN 3 MILLION ALBUMS IN LESS THAN A MONTH. THE SKY IS BLUE.

 

*laughing at your flops*

Taylor Swift's team is the best team ever. Not only do they make her look all innocent with her cute, pure and adorable dresses, her cute curls and shit; when in reality she's a skanky hoe. But who gives a fucking fuck who the fuck she's fucking? Taylor is flawless and her repetitive lyrics are the best thing since 1776. 

Taylor's latest smash album has sold 3 MILLION COPIES in less than a month. You know what that means? She's sold an average of a MILLION copies a week. Ke$ha sold 8.5% of that last week; Xtina sold 8%, etc. 

I'm not surprised one bit; Taylor has been selling albums like it's no one's business, Speak Now sold a shit ton of albums. Her team is smart; they space the fuck out of the albums so don't expect anything from TayTay for another two years, by then, we will all be in hell cuz 12/21/12 is happening in 9 days. 

At least we won't have to feel bad about the album leaking and morals and shit.

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THE PRETTY RECKLESS PREMIERE "KILL ME"

 

Taylor usually gets it right; and I say usually now because "Kill Me" is a messy ass track. The guitar is too loud, her vocals are too soft and the lyrics, what is this fuckery!?

And all the lost souls say
Every day I wake up
Every day I wake up alone
(Kill me just kill me)
Oh, get me out of the sun
Every day I wake up
Every Day I wake up Alone
(Kill me just kill me)
Someone get me out of sun 

Those lyrics are real. Taylor is usually very repetitive but seriously, this is barely a chorus, this is barely a fucking line! This is not pop music you're writing Taylor, you can't do this honeyboo.

Listen to "Kill Me"

The song of course has very sexual frustrations hidden in there and I do applaud the writing for the verses but Taylor needs to focus on her choruses because they are lacking right now.

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NASHVILLE - THE ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK IS AMAZING!

 

Nashville is this epic drama on ABC that slays all dramas ever (except Revenge.) It revolves around Rayna (old lady) and Juliette (Hayden Hot-nettiere). Rayna is this hasbeen country singer (think Floptina, Alice LostHerKeys, Flopriah Floprey, etc) who is struggling to sell her latest album and Hayden is like the Taylor Swift of the show, selling albums like it's crack in the middle of midwest America. 

Well the soundtrack is amazing, the main characters all sing, and I mean SING gurl autotune is no where near (jk). All jokes aside though; it's fucking epic. Hayden and Connie's duet is Grammy worthy, Hayden's pop/country tunes are Hot 100 #1 worthy and the songs sung by the other blonde girl are just lovely as fuck.

I won't go into details of each song because I fucking hate song-by-song reviews; just download it on iTunes NOW and thank me later.

It's Juliette's world and we are just living in it, deal wif'it.

Download "The Music of Nashville" on iTunes!

I still remember when I used to make fun of Country music, fuck you Taylor and Carrie, fuck you both.

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INTRODUCING - THE EX GIRLFRIENDS "WE ARE THE PARTY"!

I was just googling around trying to find me a torrent for this movie, minding my own damn business when out of nowhere this song starts playing from a pop-up ad. I hear electro-beats, club synths and just a fun song with a ton of autotune. I'm digging it, ya know, waving my hands, messing my hair up, acting a ratchet ass mess... and then I actually pay attention to the lyrics... child.

The production of the song isn't bad, it's actually catchy. The lyrics though and the girl's accent, come on! "we wanna party party, we (word) boom boom"... I've never heard this before, so inventive!!!!!!!!! Give her 10 Grammy's now! And the whole Latina name drops "pequeñita", where's my 4 foot girls at, like... dafukkk!?

One of my problems with this song also is that she looks Arabic / Indian... not Latina so when she goes around with her fake ass Mexican accent it's like... are you having an identity crisis? This song has everything to make it a horrible, unbearable and a funny song but for some catchy reason you end up liking it. It's like a better version of "Friday" with just as much auto-tune.

They remind me of the Pussycat Dolls, ya know, the little Lupe chick sings more of the songs.

Oooooooh play my song, DJ turn it up, let's shut it down...

I kinda don't want you to listen to the song but... someone has to suffer with me so... yeah. BTW who are these hoes to say they are the party, bitch, you must not have seen me shaking my booty in the club last week.

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KE$HA PROVES ALL YA BITCHES THAT SHE CAN SING / RELEASES "DECONSTRUCTED" EP

 

Many of you skanks judge Ke$ha for her hard partying ways and for her crazy hair and the fact she puts more Autotune on her songs than Indians put spices in their food* but she's out to prove all of you madafakas wrong with her amazing new acoustic EP "Deconstructed". Don't get confused though, she also just released "Warrior" her second FULL album, so go and buy both.

"Deconstructed" gives us hardcore K$ fans an excuse to be delusional and shove in everyone's faces that Queen$ha is actually Singer$ha. K$'s EP is a moody and sad EP, all it's missing is a gratis razor and you're set for life. 

The EP starts off with "Old Flames..." a cover from someone from somewhere. I don't know the original but K$ versions SLAYS. The piano in it is so taunting, it makes me wanna grab a kleenex box and just rock back and forth til I dry up. K$ sings with emotion, a ton of emotion, maybe she was drunk, because I know I get really sad and emotional when I get drunk.

It follows with "Blow, ya know? The super fun song that was Top 10 all over the world? Well now this version will make you wish you had some depression medicine because it is fucking sad as fuck. K$ throws away all of her party shoes and throws on some slippers for what's to be the dirtiest sad song ever. 

"Die Young" is next. When the snippet for it leaked of her in the Japanese trains, well, the audio comes from this. It's mainly acapella like the rest of the EP but it has some weird synths going around. The construction of the song is amazing. What she did with the first verse, Grammy worthy tbqmfh. 

"The Harold Song" was already a sad ass song but K$ has cranked up the psycho a couple notches. THS for short, is now an even moodier, sadder, and wall-to-head-hitting worthy anthem. "I would give it up to not be sleeping alone"

Ke$ha has outdone herself and has morphed into Slay$a. From now on, you shall call her Slay$ha. 

BUY "DECONSTRUCTED" ON ITUNES NOW! 

JK i'ts not out in the US yet except for "Die Young (Deconstructed)"

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UNION J, THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE NADINE IN THE GROUP!

Union J was part of the 3455th season of the XFactor UK. They were sadly eliminated recently but that doesn't stop the critics and the girls as they label them the next One Direction. Union J is composed of the original Triple J (whom didn't make the cut) so the producers added a 4th member and the rest is history. They are JJ, Jaymi, Josh and George. I don't know why they're called Union J instead of 3J1G (B1A4 reference, google it) but what do I know?

The group, they're a group because George can play the guitar, so therefore they're a group and not a boy band. The four guys are cute, they sing well and they look well together. They performed for 9 weeks on the XFactor, improving week by week, showcasing some serious talent. Now my only problem is that JJ and George never sing... mainly JJ, he never sings. Sometimes they throw a line at George here and there but it's usually Jaymi (God, horrible spelling) and Josh singing the tunes which would be fine if George and JJ didn't actually sing well; which isn't the case.

George is the cutest thing since cute things happened. George can play the guitar, the has the cheek bones of a super model and hair that would make Justin Bieber and that guy from 1D a run for their weaves, he's my Nicola of Girls Aloud, my Dara of 2NE1, my Hyuna of 4Minute . But for some reason their mentor (Mr. Walsh) fucked up and didn't give them any solo lines. I don't get that. Walsh already fucked up with Girls Aloud in their early stages before GA said bye bye to him and got someone better that gave the girls relatively the same amount of solo lines.

I really hope that Union J get a good manager who lets them all sing because as good as Jaymi is, we don't need another Nadine up in this bitch. Also, their manager should tell Jaymi to stop over singing, it's not cute and he's not Mariah Carey.

Here's my favorite performance by the boys and I'm not saying it's my fave only because George sings a bit.

When George sings his bit, I break to bits. George for Prime Minister of the UK 2013. 

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SPICA GET ON SOME KOREAN TROUBLES DUE TO THEIR SKANKY "LONELY" OUTFITS FOR MUSIC BANK!

 

Karma is a bitch! SPICA thought they could just walk around, rip off Girls Aloud's "Can't Speak French" and SISTAR's "Alone" and not get any sort of backlash. Well they did get away with it thanks to their nearly flawless performances, but, the funny thing is that now they're getting criticism for their skanky outfit for Music Bank. LOL!

The outfit isn't really that skanky, but it's South Korea we're talking about, not Japan. The super conservative Koreans are furious that whoever designed this nude dress didn't put any glitz on the tits; making their bras visible.

What they should be focusing on is the fact that you can't tell them apart besides the blue hair one. Seriously SPICA people, I'll let the dress slide but give your girls a makeover because right now all I can see is blue hair girl and she's the worst singer out of all of them. Homegirl was puffing and losing her tune and breath. I like the one on the far right, she's cute and can sing better, give her light hair, blonde, something. 

BTW the blue hair girl being the worst singer in the group is still far better than most of KPop's females, so consider that a half-assed compliment.

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THE PRETTY RECKLESS TO COMEBACK WITH "KILL ME"

 

The Pretty Reckless are one of my favorite bands and let me tell you why. Taylor gives no fucks, bitch is over here singing about having sex with a priest, smoking, drugs and all these other X rated topics and the ho ain't even 18...well wasn't when all those things were released. On paper it sounds like TPR would be a corny ass mess but Taylor somehow makes her repetitive lyrics get stuck in your head.

There's no snippet for "Kill Me", there's no preview for the video, there's absolutely nothing but judging from the title it's gonna be a masochistic anthem with a guitar in the bridge making you jizz ya pants off. 

You can expect "Kill Me" to be released December 11th, little over a week from now. Let's hope it doesn't leak though because I kinda wanna wait til then and just appreciate it for it's glory........ hahahaha you didn't believe that did ya? Leak that bitch, I don't wanna wait a week, fuck I look like?

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KPOP'S BOYFRIEND RELEASE DOUBLE SINGLE "DANCE DANCE DANCE" / "MY LADY" IN JAPAN / CONQUER THE CHARTS / PROVE THEY'RE THE ROOKIE GROUP TO BEAT IN JAPAN / JAPAN LOVES BOYFRIEND!

 

BOYFRIEND keeps proving they are the 'it" Korean group in Japan when their new double single "Dance, Dance, Dance" & "My Lady". "DX3" is the most JPop song they have released to date. As to be expected, the song is a rollercoaster of raps, sing-talk, and a slow breakdown that starts to build again higher than how it started. Whereas "DX3" is a fun, cute little thing, "My Lady" is a cute little thing...with a Christmas theme. Creative? Yes! Can your fave? No. "My Lady" is a typical JPop song in my opinion and I don't listen to legit JPop to begin with but pretend I'm a know-it-all and that I'm correct 101% of the time.

Boyfriend keep improving single by single. It's still sad that SK doesn't embrace them as hard as Japan does but as long as my Kings keep releasing flawless tunes, who gives a fuck where they're a hit? The twin that raps is getting really good at it if I'm honest. He has my vote for... the twin that raps.

Being Salvadorian, I always thought it only snowed in the US (not even kidding) so it's weird when there's snow in KPop videos because I'm like "It does not snow in Korea (Japan) stop trying to fool me"... I'm ignorant, what can I say?

Lemme stop talking about the song now and let's talk numbers because "DX3 / My Lady" debuted at #3 on the Oricon Daily Singles Charts and so far they've peaked at a #2 outselling ya faves and crushing their hopes. 

MY LADY

DANCE DANCE DANCE

If you're in Japan, please buy this single. It's flawless and it deserves to be #1!

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CALVIN HARRIS CHOOSES HORRIBLE TINNIE TEMPAH ASSISTED "DRINKING FROM THE BOTTLE" AS NEW SINGLE OFF "18"

 

Calvin has gotten it wrong for the first time since the never ending "18" era began. Calvin has probably already released 246 singles off of this album but that doesn't stop him as he chooses the boring fest known as "Drinking from the Bottle"... why? I've got no clue.

"Drinking..." is no "Sweet Nothing", it doesn't even come close to the repetitive "I Need Your Love" and it definitely isn't as epic as Calvin's other 1000s singles on the radio now. "Drinking..." is what you get after your label tells you there must be one more song on the album and someone black needs to be in the album. It's not impressive, it's not the generic beat we want and it just has it all wrong. 

As I played myself this song for this blog post; I had to take a breather and listen to what in my mind started it all...so here's a YouTube link to "Bounce (Feat. Kelis)" instead of "Drinking..."

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WHY ARE GIRLS ALOUD MAKING A VIDEO FOR "BEAUTIFUL 'CAUSE YOU LOVE ME"?

 

*Actual, legit, 100% real picture form the actual, legit, 100% real video shoot for "Beautiful 'Cause You Love Me"; why is this happening instead of "On The Metro"? Because God hates us*

I don't hate "BCYLM" but it's no "On The Metro" nor is it "Every Now and Then". Whoever is making this decision over at Xenomania needs to stop. We all know you're jelly that you didn't produce "On The Metro" and that it's a fan fave but don't sabotage the girls' comeback with this not-so-great song. 

"BCYLM" is a great FILLER song not a single song. The hook isn't strong, the beat isn't catchy and over all Nicola doesn't sing enough lines. Yeah, I know she sings the chorus but then some other ho sings the second verse along with her so therefore it's no longer a solo part.

Ugh, cancel this shoot and make "On The Metro" MV happen asap or gtfo.

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KE$HA'S NEW ALBUM "WARRIOR" HAS THE MOST ATROCIOUS AND SLOW LEAK IN THE HISTORY OF SLOW AND ATROCIOUS ALBUM LEAKS

 

The new Illuminati Kueen's album "Warrior" started leaking 905859837575483 days ago, with a song leaking and then another one and then another one and then the full album in a horrible, unbearable sound quality leaked only to make us hate humanity and everyone that's ever stepped foot on this earth. Then some hoes decided to be complete douchebags and recode the shitty LQ and call it HQ and raise our hopes until someone got a hold of an OK / listenable quality yesterday. Seriously, it took forever and a day for this fucking album to leak. Was it worth the wait and the 139458583 zip files now on your computer? Well, yeah, duh K$ slays.

If I had to, I'd relive it all because the adventure and the anger was half the fun. Now I'm buying both version of the album (Standard and Deluxe) so I'm telling myself it's ok to download it so yall gotta go and pre-order that shit on iTunes before you download it illegally, you illegal downloader bitches.

Pre-order "Warrior" on la iTunes NAO!

Also, the entire album is up for streaming on iTunes so you can listen to the entire damn thing before you decide to bow down and inevitably pay for your copy.

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SHINee PREMIERE AMAZING NON-BOX MUSIC VIDEO FOR THEIR FLAWLESS NEW JAPANESE SINGLE "100 YEARS..."

 

The new Kings of Japan have unleashed the full PV / MV for their flawless new single "1000 Years..." and it's so beautiful, like so beautiful the only other word that comes to mind is super beautiful. It's about some hospital patient and SHINee are like some angels or some shit and there's a flying bus and a lot of sad scenes and a lot of tears (mainly coming from my eyes, because I got a little teary)

The video has a long, yet, impeccable intro where you see the boys waiting for a bus, yes, a bus, can your fave wait for a bus as flawless as the new Kings of Japan?!? Don't think so bitch. 

The scenes in the hospital are so sad though. I hate seeing little kids in pain and in hospitals. It reminds me of the Xmas I had to spend in the hospital and it just brings too many sad memories back to life. The flashback scenes only make the sadness worst. It's so sad yet so cute to see his dad's ghost still look after him and be there. I have daddy issues ok, so whenever I see a great dad it makes me cry.

Ok enough about my rough childhood, the song is not as great as the video which is surprising. SHINee usually deliver some great mid-tempos (JoJo, etc) but I'm not loving this song as much as I thought I would. Maybe it's beacause I just got used to "Dazzling Girl" and it's too soon for me. 

Anyway, watch and listen their new single below.

*Secret time bitches: I didn't realize he was supposed to be a ghost until I watch the video again when I started writing this blog post but I bet you I made it sound like I knew it from the beginning, cuz that's what I do, I make shit happen.

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TVXQ PREMIERE NEW SINGLE "HUMANOIDS" / NOT AS GREAT AS "CATCH ME" BUT WHAT IN THIS WORLD IS?

 

How would I describe "Humanoids".... hmmm... well it's like the non-breasted sister of "Catch Me" that didn't get big enough boobs during puberty so she has to suck a lot of dicks and have faux lesbian seshs with her friends to make up for it. In all seriousness, I do like the song it's just not up there with "Catch Me" and "Keep Your..." 

"Humanoids" starts off promising in both the video and the song with Changmin (aka Max, aka the man of my dreams and the daddy of my imaginary twins). The intro is really impressive; the way Changmin whispers for like half a minute is boner inducing but then Yunho's verse is so dull, like so so so so dull I almost fell asleep, it's not until Changmin starts to sing-talk that it becomes interesting again, but, then they lose me during the first part of the chorus. 

The way I'd also describe the song is a rollercoaster that goes really high, really fast but then it comes down and the adrenaline just disappears.  The whole "cuz we are humaaaaanoids" bit is really boring, the chorus only gets good when they start singing the rest of the chorus that I can't spell because I don't know Korean so you're just gonna have to listen to the chorus and hope you understand what the fuck I'm trying to talk about. 

The video is a bit of a letdown as well. I mean it's cool they have the tools flying around and they're doing their best impression of "Catch Me" during the choreo parts but it's just not working for me. They need another blockbuster video like "Before You Go"

If I were a teacher and this was a student's project I'd give it 6/10 to be completely honest with you. Changmin's bits get 5/6 points I just gave it btw.

Don't think for ONE second I'm not adding this to my jams playlist. I'm going to replay the shit out of this song because there shall be no TVXQ (duo) song that I dislike so I'm gonna force myself to like it, I'm gonna force myself to love the shit out of this bitch even if it's a boring half-mess.

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GIRLS ALOUD'S "ON THE METRO" LEAKS / NICOLA REMAINS A FLAW-FREE SONGWRITER

 

Girls Aloud are showing every bitch in the bizz what it really takes to be the number one girl group in the world. Their comeback has been short of amazing. Their comeback single "Something New" was an amazing intro to the beautiful cheesy ballad "Beautiful 'Cause You Love Me" and now along with "Every Now and Then" comes "On The Metro" which is by far the best song out of the four and I'm not saying that just cuz NicGodla Roberts wrote the masterpiece. 

"On The Metro" opens with Nicola singing about one hundred Os and Xs... that must have been a bitch to type down on text, can you imagine just holding on to the Os and the Xs for like a minute and a half? Atrocious. The song then starts to build up while Sarah and Nicola share the pre-chorus lines sounding flawless as usual. 

The chorus is where things really get great. It's catchy, the beat is addicting, the repetitive "on the window, on the window, on the window..." it's just genius, can your fave? I can really tell that they mean business.

The other thing that makes me happier than a Black Friday enthusiast first in line at Best Buy is that Nicola leads the song, as she should, cuz she fucking wrote it. Having Nicola sing lead is always what every song should be like, her chorus are amazing, her lines are amazing, I've yet to hear her say any line that's not flawless.

"Left my heart on the disco

Now I'm crying on the metro

Wrote your name on the window,

On the window, on the window..."

Flaws have yet to surface.

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DAL*SHABET RELEASE NEW FLAWLESS KPOP GEM "HAVE / DON'T HAVE", EVERYTHING IS FLAWLESS.

 

I've always liked Dal*Shabet, they're cute, bubbly and super talented. Ok, maybe "talented" is a stretch but they have really grown to be great entertainers and the back-up vocal isn't that loud anymore. "Have, Don't Have" is a fantastic disco gem with a modern twist that's just addicting; but, what I'm here for is really the "Electro Swing Remix" because it is seriously the best thing to happen to earth since water.

The music video is obviously cute as a button. The song is funky and the whole UFO faux thing is really adorable. I also love how it starts for like 30 million years and then it's like "oh it's just an intro, psych here's the actual song. The theme of the video is silly as fuck. They're aliens or something that love the 80s and dance around to it and then electrify people and they start dancing #ORIGINAL! 

I love this group, they have all the twins and by that I mean. There's the Hyun A look-a-like, the F(X) member with the crazy hats look-a-like. We also have the Nine Muses look-a-like, and a couple of them look like they'd be perfect for T-Ara. 

The dance, oh my goodness, the dance move is fucking amazing. I wanna learn it and just do that for the rest of my life and say "ooh ah ooh ah ooooooooh" for the rest of my life after every sentence ooh ah ooh ah ooooooh!

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TAYLOR SWIFT PERFORMS "I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE" / STARTS SHOOTING MV!

 

The queen of album sales of the 21st century, aka, Ms. Taylor Swift has in four weeks sold 2.8M copies of her amazing new album "Red". She's been performing different songs on different tv shows. She performed "IKYWT" at the AMAs yesterday, which btw was epic because she's epic and that's what epic people do, they're epic. Not only has she done all of that, she also started shooting the music video RIGHT after the AMAs #dedication.

"IKYWT" has already been #3 on the Hot 100 so it's definitely a fan-fave. The dubstep-y anthem for dumb bitches everywhere, will definitely be a huge hit. I can't wait for Taylor to get all her Grammy's for best break up song of the fucking millenium.

"e, e, e, e, e..."

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CHRISTINA AGUILERA IS EXPECTED TO SELL UP TO 80K... FLOPTUS COMING THRU

 

 Floptina...

LOL! 

That's all.

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KE$HA RELEASES "C'MON" OFF OF "WARRIOR" AKA "YOUR LOVE IS..." 2012

Ke$ha has combined two of her biggest hits and called it a new song. "C'mon" borrows a lot, if not completely from "Tik Tok" and "Your Love Is My Drug" and smashes them together creating something you did not need in your life. Surprisingly, whoever the fuck produced it, is a fucking genius because the song is short of flaws and full of #1 hit. 

"C'mon" is your typical Ke$ha songs, she wants to get you out your clothes and into the bedroom so she can pretend you're a ghost and fuck you til your dick falls off. It's a fun, carefree, flawfree, pop masterpiece and no one but God$ha could do this. The sing-talk-rap verse is giving me all the life my life needs.

Lyrics to live by:

"Better pack a toothbrush, gonna pull an all-nighter"

I really have nothing else to say, I'm slayed.

Buy "C'mon" on iTunes now!

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NICOLA AND GIRLS ALOUD PERFORM "SOMETHING NEW" + A NEW TRACK AT THE CHILDREN IN NEED!

After three cruel and devastating years of no Girls Aloud singles, albums, tours or performances; the amazing five-some are back at it with their first televised performance for their brand new Children In Need / comeback single "Something New" And if that wasn't enough, Nicola and the rest of Girls Aloud also showed the UK and the internet why they all won "Popstar Rivals" back in 2002 with their spankingly cheesy ballad "Beautiful 'Cause You Love Me"

It's so nice to see the girls back at it pretending they all stand Nadine and that everything is dandy and cute. I love it, it's pop at its' finest and I am jizzing like I haven't jacked off in days! Nicola being the most beautiful and pale of them all really shined in these performances, sounding just like the CD version for both performances. She was so cute, I would wear her.

Kimberly; who's also busy hustling those "Strictly Come Dancing" votes looked as divine as ever. Her make up was cute, her clothes were cute, her hair was cute, her body was... super cute. Sarah, Nadine and Cheryl looked alright. Sarah, darling, please for the love of everything that is good in the world, STOP the surgeries, you've always been a beautiful girl now it looks like your lips start at your ears, not cute.

What I really liked about both performances is that Nadine didn't over-shadow any of the other members as she used to before their hiatus. I think the fact that her album flopped harder than a fish out of water really showed Xenomania that she is not the "face" of GA.

"Something New"

"Beautiful 'Cause..." + Interview

Buy "Something New" November 18th bitches, give my girls their 5th #1 and their 21st Top 10!!

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THAI CUTIE, NATHEW, RELEASES GENERIC YET FLAWLESS KOREAN DEBUT SINGLE "SHE'S BAD"

 

Let me start off by saying I know nothing about Nathew, whether or not he's famous in Thailand or if he's released anything worth listening to in Thai. Now with the awkward moment out of the way, "She's Bad" is a nice, thick, juice slice of Korean Pop goodness. It's addicting, it's got a generic beat our brain is familiar with, it's got a shit ton of auto-tune, pretty much, it's every male pop singer's dream song. 

Nathew, aka, The Thai Cutie, made his debut (insert date here) but I can't find his actual debut stage so you're gonna have to deal with this one. 

This performance is solid, like seriously solid, it's like that solid cement on the ground just being solid and cute. The performance all jokes aside is pretty good. There's the obvious loud back-up track but when he sings, he sings. I also want to say that it's impressive, his Korean sounds really good and trust me, Korean is HARD AS FUCK to learn, those bp sounds, ugh. 

My only problem with the performance was that creepy guy with the sunglasses being a creepster, like who are you and why are you taking up the ENTIRE fucking stage and you're just standing there, like dafukk? Move, shake, fall on the ground, DO SOMETHING. 

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ARASHI'S "WELCOME TO OUR PARTY" IS THE BEST JPOP SONG SINCE 1567! / "POPCORN" IS #1 ALBUM IN THE WORLD (FOR SERIOUS)

If you know me or my  blog, yall know I don't fancy JPop as much as I fancy KPop. I don't know, their songs are usually too cutesy and autotuned but literally two minutes ago while visiting a blog I saw that these Arashi people have the best selling album in the WORLD for the previous week with 701,000 copies sold. Can your favez? Don't think so. Anyway, it peaked my interest and well, thanks to YouTube I now know of the amazing JPop. 

"Welcome to The Party" is the best song to ever come out of Japan. It's fun, it's fresh, it's Top 40, it could outsell your favez in the US with an English version. It's really, really, really catchy and upbeat and it just makes you happy. "Say ehhhoh!" 

"Make you happy happy happy happy happy!" is the best line ever. like ever. 

Just downloaded the album, gonna listen to it as I get ready to go clubbing. 

IT'S A PARTY TIME!!!

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KE$HA PERFORMS "DIE YOUNG" ON THE XFACTOR (AURSTRALIA) AND SUNRISE!

 

Queen$ha has been spending some time down under promoting her new single / anthem "Die Young". Ke$ha not only made some serious improvements vocally over the last year, she's also learned how to dance and play the drums, what can't she do? 

Ke$hus Chri$$$t, or the anti-Chri$$$t by the looks of these Illuminati infused performances, has never sounded so good live (I went to see her live last year). Her charisma and personality are finally coming out to play.  I love that she took some time to tour, write and learn her craft. She's come back a little too Illuminati for my liking but she's a Pisces, I'm a Pisces and we stick together like oil and water, so bitches grab a number and wait. 

"Die Young" is doing rather well in Australia apparently, I don't know exact numbers but it's slaying the shit outta ya kangaroos. I love how they introduce Holy$ha with all these "#1s and best selling single of 2010" can your fave?

The XFactor performance was obviously a bigger stage so it required more glitter, but besides that both performances are solid. The breakdown / tribal dance is fucking epic by the way. Just wait til you hear it / see it!

XFACTOR

SUNRISE

Buy "Die Young" on iTunes now!

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BOYFRIEND RELEASE COMEBACK SINGLE AND MV FOR "JANUS"

 

After outselling everyone in Japan in KPop history and being the most read blog post in my blog, BOYFRIEND is back with their first full length album titled "Janus". The comeback album and single of the same name premiered today and it is so good, like soooooo good it makes you wonder why other groups suck. 

"Jansu" sees the lovely fivesome take a different route, leaving behind their cute, boy next door theme, "Janus" sees our favez in extravagant and expensive outfits, looking manly and sexy. The video sees them all fighting for this slut that's dating all of them at once (what a lucky slut), the twins are also fighting for her (sexy incest). 

The choreo is really sharp, kinda reminds me of SHINee's "Sherlock" but it stands as its own flawlessness. I love how much they have grown and you can definitely tell that being more famous in Japan has given them the confidence they needed to really nail it. 

The twins are so grown-up now!! Watching their debut single / mv is so cute cuz they were to wittle!!!! 

Can't wait to see them perform this live!

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ONE DIRECTION NEED TO RELEASE "KISS YOU" OFF THEIR FLAW-FREE / MASTERPIECE / ORIGINAL NEW ALBUM "TAKE ME HOME"

 

One Direction, aka the biggest boy band since 'NSYNC are back at it with their new album "Take Me Home". The soon-to-be the best thing since sliced bread and butter is an amazing album that deserves to outsell ya favez. One of the standout tracks in my opinion is "Kiss You". It literally made me a 1D'er.

The song is funky with beats I can't even describe because every time I try to write this blog I start singing the damn song "if every time we touch, you get this kinda rush, baby say yeah yeah yeah" and then it gets all funky and fun and I just wanna tell them to "take me home" and just do me.

"Kiss You" sees the boys in a different genre (biased) I think you'd describe it as 60s feel for the verses and 90s for the chorus. It's messy, weird and I love it!

I'm gonna run to the nearest person and just shout "na na na na na na na na let me kiss you!" 

The snippet, I can't find the damn song on YouTube. 

Buy "Take Me Home" next week when it comes out bitches or fear me!

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INDONESIAN ROOKIE GROUP SNATCH KPOP QUEEN HYUN A FOR DEBUT INDO/ENGLISH DEBUT SINGLE "SHE'S MY GIRL" / SLAY SOUTH KOREA AND ASIA ALL AT ONCE!

Indonesia finally jumped on the manufactured bandwagon*. Unleashing the flawless new group titled S4 (Sexy, Smart, Sweet and Sentimental) Yeah, that's what it stands for but please try to forget that and listen to them, they really are flawless. Also, Hyun A is in their debut single... yeah I got your attention now didn't I?

"She's My Girl" will definitelly be released in Korean within weeks because it has everything a KPop song needs to be a smash. It's fun, energetic, alive, catchy, and it has Queen of KPop, multi-talented, multi-fasceted, multi-wig snatcher, Hyun A. The song is packed with fun synths that'll definitelly keep you jumping. The song is about a girl, being cute and stuff, and how she's his "girl" and to not "touch touch" because he will fuck you up. Indonesians are so gangsta!

The video is also flaw-free. The girl pretending to be Hyun A is obviously not as fierce as Hyun A herself, but really, besides Britney, who else is that fierce? Back to the video, it has a simple theme, they're looking cute, sexy, smart, sweet and definitely sentimental, homeboys do not want you to touch touch their girl.

Enjoy it, and someone, if you know of any other flaw-free Indonesian GROUPS, please email me. kfankzbye.

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GIRLS ALOUD PREMIERE STATEMENT VIDEO FOR "SOMETHING NEW" / FLAW-LESS GREATEST HITS OUT IN NOVEMBER!

The best group in the UK (it's been confirmed, they have sold more than your favez in their mother land) are back with their brand new spanking video for the best song since "Untouchable". "Something New" is your basic Ray Kay video, with the mirror effect, the lyrics on the screen and the weird colors, but never has a group make that look so flawless. Now that the video premiered, we finally know who sings what because we never really know, it could be Cheryl, it could be Nadine or Kimberly on a bad day.

There's really not much to say about the video but, it's sexy, it's fun, it's the Holy Fivesome back where they should be, singing tunes for us unworthy humans. Nicola looks beautiful as ever, yall bitches better know that she's my fave, Nicola can do no wrong.

I love this video btw, don't get my sarcasm fool you, this video made me cry. Yes, it made me cry. It's been three years since we've seen these beautiful girls together and it happened all so quickly! One day we were all missing them and then BAM, 10 day countodown started and to be honest, I don't think my body was ready for this flaw-less masterpiece. I have to get used to it for the time being though because the girls are releasing their second Greatest Hits album titled "TEN" in November 26th, which will contain "Something New" and four more track, FOUR, CUATRO, we will have pretty much an EP just of new tracks!

My inner fanboy is happy, my outter fanboy is happy, I am happy!



They're the leaders of the pack, tell me can you handle that?

Buy "Something New" the official Children In Need single of 2012 in November 18th!

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NICKI MINAJ FORGETS THE SONG IS CALLED "THE BOYS" AND GIVES CASSIE'S COOCH SOME LOVING IN NEW MUSIC VIDEO!

Nicki Minaj is trying to rescue "The Boys" from being her 100th flop single with this new raunchy music video. To be honest, if you've seen a Nicki Minaj video, you've seen them all... except homegurl is keeping up with the latest homo-trends of America and decided to give Cassie's cooch a much needed loving sesh. 

Nicki and Cassie look fabulous and sexy as ever in this video, it kinda makes you like the song a lot more than you should. "The Boys" is apparently an old Cassie demo that Nicki was a FEATURE on but then since Cassie hasn't had a hit since 1945, Nicki decided to snatch it and add another verse and give it a bit of a current-Red One-gone-wrong-step make over.

Also, this song is a statement song, Nicki wants us all to know that she goes to Asia with Asians... because most nappy-headed hoes go to Asia with hoodrats, she gets the real shit. 

Watch the video, grab some kleenex before you do though, those 2 seconds of girl-on-girl faux sex are the best thing you'll see in your miserable life. 

*Also the Asian dancer is giving me life, he needs to come over and " touch it, taste it, see it, feel it 

clone it, own it, Yeah yeah!!!!" 

That has got to be the longest motherf*cking blog post of my life!

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WONDER BOYZ FINALLY DEBUT WITH FLAWLESS "OPEN THE DOOR"!

For the longest time there has been a huge buzz around the male Wonder Girls idol group. Wonder Boyz are a manufactured group from (insert label I don't care about here). For some reason I'm interested in giving them a chance, mainly because SHINee, Big Bang and Super Junior aren't releasing any Korean goods any time soon and let me tell you I am impressed.

Unlike the Wonder Flops, Wonder Boyz actually has a bit of an attitude. I mean just look at their cover art, can you say riske and a little gay? ME LOVES! They premiered their music video for "Open the Door" yesterday as well as releasing their first mini-album of the same name.

Let's watch the video together! 

Ok, I paused the video @1:03 because so much shit is happening!!! So this is a circus themed video, which is cute! The boy with the afro wig has my vote for President of the USA based on his afro alone. He's fierce, he's cute, he's got swag, and an AFRO WIG, how can you top that? So far I am loving the sound, it's got a little of "Lovey Dovey" in it with a hint of hip-hop, or at least what SK calls hip-hop. I like it, it's got funk and fun in it. Now let's press play and hope the rest of this video is just as good as the first minute.

Is that Aladdin? I thought you were in a circus! I love it!!! And those jackets with the tacky WB logo all over them, ME WANTS!!! Ok so now we're back in the circus? Man, these guys are just errwhere! Oh no gurl don't drop the apples, didn't you hear T-Ara's song? Apple is A+! Oh no they didn't!! They totally did the horse dance with their own little plagarism twist!! INVENTIVE! Oh fuck now they're zombies?? Is this "Lovey Dovey" in Egypt? Oh no! They're playing that game when they make a pyramid and people circle around it. GENIUS! I totally get it, Aladdin, Egypt, Pyramid, Yu Gi Oh! 

I fucking love this video, I want to wear it!!!! I would wear this video, I would wear it in a second! It's cute, it's fun, it's crazy and I just want that afro wig, I would wear that afro wig in a faster second than I would wear that video! I would wear that video and that wig in a second, what's wrong? I would wear it in a second!

*If you don't get my "I would wear" joke watch this video @2:45*

Also give the EP a listen, it's a great EP. I love every single song.

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